Please Don’t

This post is inspired by:

“Its alright, a bit scathed, a bit lost
I’ve been played, I ain’t that clever”

Well, I’m another year older. I celebrated my 24th birthday 8 days ago. I could go on and on about my birthday celebration, and the gifts I got, but for once, I’ll pass on that. I heard from family, close friends, not so close friends, exes, and people I haven’t heard from in 20 years. Birthdays are funny — they show who a true person is, no matter what the distance, age gap, or current relationship status, and that to me, is what marks the day special. Someone once told me that true feelings come out when one is at an airport, about to board a flight. And then followed that sentence with “that only happens one other day a year”. Birthday’s signify who cares, and who doesn’t. Who reaches out and who doesn’t.

______________

Earlier this month, I had a pleasure of reconnecting with someone with whom I’ve seen, or spoken to in years. And not the figurate term years, literal. As in 6 years. Since my junior  year of high school. When we saw each other, of course there was a lot to catch up on. College, full time job life, relationships (past and present), and all things current lifestyle. This meet up got me thinking to about one specific birthday I spent with him, and some other friends, but most importantly how easy it is to revert back to a younger version of yourself when given the opportunity.

I’ve come to find that when given the opportunity, yes, it’s very easy to revert back, but it’s what you do in that moment that matters. Do you fully revert back? For example, do I stay up until 5 AM, drink and smoke, and let myself fully let go — or do I appreciate the progress I’ve made since then, and take control of the situation?

While I’m still very young, I will say I’ve taken pride in a few important things in my life. One of these things that I’ve taken pride in is the ability to take control when I didn’t think it was possible — or in my favor. Speaking with my dad over my birthday, I was able to have a real, judgment free conversation, which to me, should be every child’s dream. To me, when that moment comes, is when you become an adult.

I’ve always been sentimental about my birthday, and if you truly know me, you know why. Yes, getting a year older is significant, but my background triumphs that. Yes, homemade cakes, and cheesecake are important, but conversations on that day become significant, and one that I never forget. So, on my 24th year, I commend those who reached out, forgive those who meant to, and erase those who didn’t.

Shown below is a message from a nurse who treated me 24-23 years ago. I haven’t seen her since. Proof that those who want to reach out, and wish you well, will do so.

Screen Shot 2016-07-12 at 3.50.29 PM

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