Vila Rada

This post is inspired by:

“People talking without speaking, people hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share, and no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence”.

Greetings, and happy (almost) Thanksgiving! A little side note before the rest of the post; Thanksgiving is hands down one of my favorite holidays. I don’t know about all you readers, but this holiday really out does itself. To start off, the delicious food. Turkey, stuffing, cranberries, YUM. Not to mention the great Thanksgiving pilgrim sandwich for leftovers — double yum. But about the actual holiday, this represents a time to give thanks to those who matter most to you. For a lot of people this means family, to some it’s close friends, to the few, it’s spreading the love to those in need at shelters, the Salvation Army, etc. No matter how you actually spend the day, it’s important to recognize why we celebrate it at all. Originally the holiday was to give thanks to the past crop year, bless the food, and wish for a better season this time next year. I suppose Thanksgiving can still mean those things too.

For many, the holidays bring families together, who maybe don’t see each other too often throughout the year. This could mean a trip to grandma’s house, visiting cousins, or just spending time with your core. No matter what you are doing, be sure to say how thankful you are to have the ones you care about most, no matter what the past year has brought, loved ones are for better and worse right?

__________________________

Anyway, Thanksgiving was not the reason I decided to post today. What got me interested in posting this evening, was something that happened to me today. The details I suppose are irrelevant, but the premise of the story is not. The topic? Keeping secrets. Hiding something from someone, because you don’t want them to find out, or your ashamed of what might happen once they do find out.

Do you remember keeping secrets as a kid? I was never (and still am not) good at keeping secrets, I guess I just don’t see the point. Never the less, kids keep secrets because they think it’s fun to keep something from their parents (IE: finishing the last of the ice cream), where as adults keep secrets because they are ashamed of something they did; whether that be hurting someone or getting hurt by someone, secrets to me are all the same. What good does it do you, or the ones who care about you? The answer is always the same: it does you no good to keep secrets.

Psychology says that people who are physically or sexually abused tend to wait years (if ever) before telling anyone about their past, and what has happened to them, IE keeping a secret. While I get this concept of being ashamed to share your past, becoming vulnerable, and admitting that something went wrong keeping secrets such as these only hurt those who were victimized*.

Family secrets are those that interest me the most. Where out of nowhere at the dinner table, you find out (hypothetically) that your great-great grandmother had an affair. First off, family events (such as holidays, birthdays, gatherings) are a time when you get together and chat about the good old days. However, are the good old days really including your great-great grandmothers affair? Why do things such as this come up at the least useful time?

Secrets are a funny thing. So, I pose these questions: at what point in time does it change for a person where keeping and telling secrets becomes less fun, and more hurtful? When do secrets, if ever become less hurtful, and more helpful?

While this post ends on a confusing note, by reading this post you learn a little bit more about me, and poses some questions — just food for thought. Well, until next time.

Interested in the title of this post? Take a listen to Vila Rada

While the quote is the famous lyrics of Sound of Silence

*Clarification: in no way what so ever am I saying that those who were physically, sexually, verbally, emotionally abused did anything wrong to justify what may have happened. I deeply apologize if my writing conveys that.

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