Take a deep breath and hold it in

This post is inspired by:

“We waste our words, and we waste our moments, we don’t take the time to say the things that are in our hearts when we have the chance.”

So, it’s official. Tonight I write again. Yes, we all know it’s been a long time since I said I’d write again and then life got in the way. Seasons change, and next thing you know it’s September. How fast time flies. It makes me think about a lot — the seasons changing. Most importantly, or at least what’s on my mind now is the popular phone app Timehop. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s an app that “time travels” through your social media, given that you have given Timehop the permission to do so. And there you go, in a matter of seconds and a notification later, you have a personal diary of things you have tweeted, put as a status 5 years ago, or a picture on Instagram all right in front of you.

It’s a scary thought, having your past right in front of you. The best and worse memories, whatever rant you talked about on Twitter that day. Every time my notification goes off, I can’t wait to see and remember what I was like a year, 2 years, or even 6 years ago. Some of what I see, doesn’t sound like something I would have posted, or even looked like — but I guess that’s what time does. It changes you. One thing at least for me that doesn’t change, is how I felt about that particular moment I posted. I still get butterflies, and laugh at some things, but just as equally I get upset, and nostalgic for what life was like many (or not so many) moons ago. It’s a digital diary.

I can’t help but wonder if I was a better person before, or if life has changed me so much that there’s no way of becoming who I once was. Or whether I would want to go back or not. Timehop gives me at least the opportunity to temporarily go back and relive those days. To potentially go back, and see if I’m a better person. Yes, I’ve grown and changed throughout the past 6 years, even the last year. But is it better?

Do you ever just miss things from the past? Miss the way things used to be, miss who were friends with but then lost touch, miss the music you use to listen to but now can’t find it on your iTunes? And then all of the sudden out of nowhere it appears again. You run into a friend on the street, or hear the song on the radio, and that’s all you can think about? Don’t get me wrong, living in the past is a huge mistake, but it’s something one can never run from.

And that means something.

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